Nearing the close of my spring break, I find myself reflecting on the past few years. I remember those fun spring breaks in college. It meant staying out even later, trying to start the summer tan, working extra hours, catching up on school work, just about anything to help me get a head. This year I realized that I have grown up a little more and wanted to make note of this personal milestone.
Two years ago I was getting very pregnant! We were preparing and anticipating the arrival of our third child not knowing the gender. I think I took the kids to Houston, but like I said it was two years ago and I cannot remember specifics like that!
One year ago I do remember taking the kids to Houston. We took my three plus my nephew to the Houston LS&R. It was one big family day of fun. We made our way back home and Aunt Christy and Emma came for a visit. It was during that visit that my baby girl had drained me dry. Yes I had my last time to nurse my baby girl. One big crazy mess of mixed emotions over the last few days of that spring break. In a sense it was my baby girl growing up as well as myself. I knew it was my last time to care for my child in such a way since they are growing up and their needs change. I had to grow up a little more too.
Now here we are to spring break 2011, another milestone you say? Why yes indeed. Up hiding in my attic were all things baby that were once celebrated. I remember the excitement of the baby shower my old friend Angela threw for Brady. It was one big celebration over my first child, the family, friends and gifts I will never forget. I remember those sleepless nights of wondering if I laid him down just right, did I feed him enough, how long will he sleep, how long can I sleep, when will I cook, do laundry, praying that the batteries in the swing or bouncy seat would last forever...all those worrisome thoughts of a first time mother. Through it all, I was truly grateful for all those wonderful gifts and blessed to have some of the best friends ever. I wouldn't have made it through this first born if I didn't have my old high school girlfriend Ginny. We were going through the same things at the same time. I would have been lost without her. Adding a sweet little girl to the mix brought on more of the same feelings. I remember feeling relieved that I had most items I would need for her. Little did I know this little darling would only want her momma, no matter what swing, bouncy seat, baby carrier, etc I tried for her. This time I really learned the value of buying batteries in bulk at Sam's. She required me to stretch what I learned from the first born and then ask the experts too. I would have been lost without my neighbor Shannon. She was truly a hop and a skip away or mostly just a phone call. And when the third little blessing came along I had it all, or most of it I thought. After raising two very different infants I felt prepared for whatever God was willing to give. Thankfully God was very kind and blessed us with a sweet, easy-to-please little girl. All those gifts from the first and second were once again put to use. This time they were packed up and moved more times than I preferred, but it was what we had to do. We moved out of our first home when she was about 2 1/2 months old, then into our new house when she was about 7 1/2 months old. All those fun little baby things were put to use and found their place in the new house. Throughout the past year they've become outgrown and found their way to the attic. Recently the last item found its way up there and I realized that the "baby" section in my attic was no longer of use for me. We will not be adding anymore little people around here, so why am I holding onto this baby stuff? Well, I spent an entire day devoted to all those things that I once ripped open the packaging and put them together. I took off liners, washed, put pieces back together, dusted, cleaned and stepped back. I had to ask myself if I was ready to do this? Was I ready to just give it all away? The things that changed me from just a girl, to a wife, to a mother? And the answer was yes. Yes it was time to move forward. I loaded up the truck and tearfully drove it away. I took such ownership of my stuff. It kind of made me mad that the lady at the resale shop just waved some items off and said "this is too old", "this is out of date", "there's a recall on this", and "sorry we can't take that". It just made me angry for a second. How dare she say that to me. Those "things" are perfectly fine to make some mother or grandmother perfectly happy. Out of the whole truck bed, they only accepted 4 items that they could sell. Fine by me. I reloaded my stuff and drove the full truck bed to Goodwill. I was happy to hand over my perfectly cleaned up baby items that once made my children oh so happy. I had thoughts of some young mother trying to get on her feet and finding my matching stroller and car seat set in nearly mint condition. I thought of how happy that would make her feel. And that is why I knew it was time to hand over my baby items that were treated with lots of TLC the past 5 1/2 years.
I think I feel a little more grown up this spring break. It is for I realize that it wasn't the patterns and colors I fretted over or the exact model or design I wanted for my child. Over the years, it was the love that grew, the bonds that were made and all the memories that I will cherish forever. Thank you to all that ever gave me a baby shower gift, card, mommy tips, etc. I realized that I am a better person because of it all. And now I look forward to what gifts God has in store for my family in our many more spring breaks. I know there will be more pivotal moments and most of all, lots of love and memories to cherish.
